by Cowhideman,, https://fetlife.com/users/76887 What do you do when someone asks in their very first contact message, something like “What are you into?” or if after a couple of exchanged messages, wants you to share a complete list of hard and soft limits and a shopping list of fetish activities that you …

Okay, there’s a 600lb gorilla in the room, and I’m done pretending it’s not there. What we do isn’t pretty or politically correct, and frankly, it’s dangerous if we can’t get (and stay) honest about the reality of it. So here it is as raw and real and un-PC as it is: …

The sheer scope of selfishness I encounter daily truly still shocks me. It seems our humanity is chipped away as we strive for more things, more prestige, more power, more control and more base satisfaction. We seemed defined as a people by what we have, not what we give. What …

Yes – you – the one sitting in front of your computer screen, reading these posts and wondering if you can ever be involved. You can. Yes – you. I know you think you’re a submissive, so you’re not usually the one who takes the initiative. Maybe you’re not even …

1. Submission isn’t as easy as it looks. There is so much more to submitting than knowing how to cook, clean, and follow directions. You will have to let go of the ego and make many emotional and physical sacrifices. It’s not all about kinky fuckery. It’s about always being …

1. Dominating isn’t as easy as it looks. There’s much more to it than just sternly giving out orders. You should really be capable of doing the things you command your sub to do. No task is beneath you. There is a lot of responsibility placed on you when you …

Disclaimer: This is long and winding and somewhat disjointed. It is also going to upset some people. Consent is a difficult topic to discuss due to the stigma surrounding consent violations and injuries but I encourage civil discourse and disagreement in the comments. Attacks against people directly, however, will not …

Protocols aren’t for everyone.. Some people find them to be tedious, while others see them as the very essence of D/s. For those of us that do enjoy protocols, they can be a powerful tool for creating a deep bond between Dominant and submissive. What are protocols? Protocols are a …

This is the first formal training exercise I do with new submisives. Its part of my protocol training. It’s also an effective and fun way to transition from vanilla or “just in the bedroom” kink to the beginnings of power exchange. Think of it like your kids first steps. All you …