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Resources and Education

  • Resources and Education

    Negotiation Tips

    by loftnc@gmail.com October 28, 2020
    by loftnc@gmail.com October 28, 2020

    You hear so much about negotiation and how important it is for your safety.  Negotiations play a huge role in what it is that we do, both lifestyle and vanilla.  …

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  • Resources and Education

    Relationship Bill of Rights

    by loftnc@gmail.com September 9, 2016
    by loftnc@gmail.com September 9, 2016

    Polyamory: Best Books & Resources You have the right, without shame, blame or guilt: In all intimate relationships: -to be free from coercion, violence and intimidation -to choose the level …

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  • BlogContributed WritingsResources and Education

    Here’s how I explain sexual consent…

    by loftnc@gmail.com August 9, 2016
    by loftnc@gmail.com August 9, 2016

    At the LoftNC, we teach and talk a lot about consent.  We strongly express that consent is a YES – only positive consent is consent.  No is NO and Maybe …

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  • Contributed WritingsResources and Education

    Epilepsy

    by loftnc@gmail.com August 9, 2016
    by loftnc@gmail.com August 9, 2016

    • Epilepsy and BDSM – A dangerous combination? #1 – ‘Communication’ • Epilepsy and BDSM – A dangerous combination? #2 – ‘Triggers’ • Epilepsy and BDSM – A dangerous combination? #3 – ‘Actions …

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  • Contributed WritingsResources and Education

    Negotiation Presentation Recommended Reading List

    by loftnc@gmail.com December 9, 2015
    by loftnc@gmail.com December 9, 2015

    Recommended Reading Please keep in mind that all of these books and articles were written by fallible human beings, each with their own background and biases. Do not take any …

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  • Contributed WritingsResources and Education

    The Acid Tests (Sorting real Tops from fakers)

    by loftnc@gmail.com November 9, 2015
    by loftnc@gmail.com November 9, 2015

    This is an article I wrote for “Power Lines” back in 1998, it’s somewhat dated now but I’m still surprised how many requests I get to repost it. Since I …

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  • Contributed WritingsResources and Education

    Negotiation and Consent Myths, Part 2

    by loftnc@gmail.com October 9, 2015
    by loftnc@gmail.com October 9, 2015

    Okay, I’ll go ahead and admit that I stacked the deck in part I of this post. I deliberately put most of the myths I figured a lot of people …

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  • Contributed WritingsResources and Education

    Negotiation and Consent Myths, Part 1

    by loftnc@gmail.com October 9, 2015
    by loftnc@gmail.com October 9, 2015

    In my not-so-humble opinion, there are a lot of myths about consent and negotiation that float around our subculture. There are so many, in fact, that once I started writing …

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  • Contributed WritingsResources and Education

    Polyamory: So What Is Couple Privilege, Anyway?

    by loftnc@gmail.com August 9, 2015
    by loftnc@gmail.com August 9, 2015

    This article was linked on Fetlife and I thought the information and thoughts the author invoked were invaluable for anyone considering or engaging in poly dynamics.  Article/journal entry shared here …

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  • Contributed WritingsResources and Education

    Acid Tests for True Dominants

    by loftnc@gmail.com July 9, 2015
    by loftnc@gmail.com July 9, 2015

    Introduction The term ‘Acid Test’ is an old prospecting term. A powerful acid can dissolve most base metals in a matter of minutes. However, gold will stand up to most …

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