The Relationship Needs Chocolate Too: a M/s Perspective of Incorporating Self Care in the Dynamic
Often individuals point to self care as “doing something extra for oneself”. Like a pamper day, or taking a vacation. We often get there with the idea of self care, but end up multi-tasking? Or try to rush through it? We forgot the self-care part. We live in such a culture that we are always on the go and constantly behind on something. Pausing and taking a moment is a foreign concept and honestly, it can be uncomfortable having to “do something for my mental health?”
What my slave and I have learned is that self care is not only good for us as an individual, but is also good for the roles we take on in our power exchange dynamic itself.
Self Care in any relationship is vital to the success of the relationship itself. In a Master/slave or Dominant/submissive relationship where a power exchange is present there is a deeper level of intensity that includes emotional labor from both sides of the slash. Self Care is even more vital to the maintenance of those roles. Without self care, either individual of the slash can suffer from burnout, resentment, decision fatigue, or codependency. This class will present ideas and open discussions into how to intentionally build self care into the roles of authority and service. We will also consider the M/s or D/s dynamic itself, looking at the power exchange as a separate third entity that needs care all on its own.
Presenter’s Bio:
Lady Lynnia has been in the kink world (publicly or privately) since 2005. Fuzz and Lady Lynnia have been together since 2007 first in a Dominant/submissive dynamic that has grown into a Total Power Exchange-Master/slave dynamic. Lady Lynnia and her fuzz have grown in their relationship, individually, together, and within the community over the years leading us to become proud members of the House of Passion in January of 2024. Through Leather, they have found a home where they feel supported in their personal journey in “this thing that we do”. Lady Lynnia has served on several boards in the Western North Carolina area including Hickory Playground (HPG), Burke Educational Group (BEG), and Dominae of the Carolina’s (DoC). Lady Lynnia is also a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor-Associate that has dedicated her life in community mental health. After spending years working as a grunt, Fuzz has taken a step back in the vanilla world to expand his service in the community as a bootblack. As lifelong learners, Lady Lynnia and fuzz have expanded their skill and knowledge as she and her fuzz have taught for the Loft, Reign of Blood (RoB), Dominae’s of the Carolina’s (DoC), Charlotte Area Power Exchange (CAPEX), and South East Leather Fest 2026 (SELF).
