Warning to Dominants – Don’t Lose your Submissive

by loftnc@gmail.com


I spent last night counseling a submissive who is thinking about leaving her collar. She expressed such complete devotion to her Dominant but doubt in his ability to hold her was creating a space for her leaving.

It can be so beautiful, the devotion that slaves/submissives offer their Dominants. The complete adoration. How the D/s container is often played out with many Dominants/Masters giving and withholding their attention. How attention is given by the whim and pleasure of the Master. Every scene. Every stroke. Every orgasm. Every spanking. Every hug. Every decision.

And how the submissive often waits, attentively….sitting at the feet of the Dominant – watching the plate, wondering when the hand will come down and put a morsel in their mouths. The taste of that morsel can be like no other for the submissive, and the pleasure of giving it or withholding it – a delicious moment for the Dominant.

I have watched this. I have been this. This dance of D/s that is played out in all of it’s forms and configurations. How the needs of D and s plays out in this dance of giving and receiving power, intimacy and surrender. It can be the most beautiful exchange in the world when D and s meet each other exquisitely in desire.

I have seen a submissive accept the unacceptable in their devotion. I have been that submissive.

And here is the thing. If you give your submissive reason to doubt your adoration of their service, if you give your submission reason to doubt your heart; your submissive will eventually leave. They will take their love and walk away, because it is their love for the Dominant that enslaves them. It is the trust in their love being returned that holds them. If your submissive can’t feel your love, your container, your desire, your support – that submissive will be out the door with your collar left at your feet. It may take time. Your submissive may even pay someone like me to help them sort out their heart. Your submissive if they are deeply into service will test your container many times. They will check to see if it is their resistance showing up or your lack of attentiveness to the container that is the issue.

Your container is your power, doubt in the heart of your submissive can be your undoing.

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