Caring for a brat. (Innermind’s continued guide to training a brat).


You’re the proud owner of a brat! Hurray! But before you celebrate and douse her with champagne in a frantic celebration and take her home to make her yours, forever and ever. There’s a few key rules you must follow in order to properly care for a brat and avoid a thermonuclear meltdown at your house.

° No sweets past midnight. Seriously, this is imperative. You know how you can’t feed a gremlin past midnight, this is the same concept, except way more serious. If you slip and allow your sneaky submissive to devour some sweets in the early morning hours. Expect sleep to allude you like Megan Fox at a nightclub. Even worse, the repercussions will be felt days later as your sweet and adorable brat will turn into a hideous, cranky pants monster and torment not just you, but your whole fucking neighborhood will suffer her wrath. Side note : in this hyper state, she becomes immune to belt spankings, beware!

° Follow through. If you tell her to do something, you better hold her fucking accountable. If you don’t punish her for an infraction and give in to her, big beautiful eyes and go soft on her. Well, you’ve just lost control of the ship my friend and you better grab a life boat, because it’s about to sink. Give her an inch and she won’t take a mile, she’ll repaint the whole fucking road with glitter.

° Snuggles, hugs and lots of sweet kisses. Yes, you’ll need a heavy hand at times. But even a masochistic brat, needs lot of tenderness. She’ll dry up and turn into a wrinkly witch without her proper tender nutrients.

° Practice “that look”. Brats need that look sometimes. The one that pierces their soul and makes their brattiness come down a couple of notches. Think of “that look” as a sweet song, taming a bear. If you can add a raised eyebrow with “that look”, that will work even better.

° Patience. You’ll need to become a zen like master when dealing with your rambunctious, delightful, tasty brat. Things will need to be repeated and you’ll need to understand, things will not happen when you want them to, but when she’s calmed her ass down and decides to give in to your peaceful, dominant nature. Failure to practice patience, will result in a nervous breakdown for yourself and cause your brat to explode, which is not covered under warranty.

Congratulations on finding and owning the brat of your dreams (or nightmares). Practice the proper care and you’ll experience a lifetime of joy, purpose and happiness (as well as headaches, upset stomach, worn out belts and lots of sleepless nights).

Have fun and happy brating.

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