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WHRM: What he really mean

reposted with permission from LadyHannahBliss 

I came across this little gem on my feed this morning. While I am sure this fellow is a wonderful person and his quest for a Mistress is sincere, all I see is code speak for a do me list. Do you think he really believes what he is writing is a true form of submission and service? Do some Mistresses look at this list and think of this as a pledge of true submission and service?

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I [am] looking for MISTRESS which understand and accept the following conditions of my future existence as your slave :

WHRM: I want a fulltime Mistress who understands that she must serve me in all the following ways for free…

I am the property of my Mistress, body and mind

WHRM: Mistress must titillate not just my ass but my whole body, as well as being mentally and emotionally engaging at all times for free

I will obey my Mistress at all times without question or hesitation

WHRM: Any time, day or night, Mistress will be available to serve me for free

I accept that my feelings, opinions and wishes are meaningless and irrelevant

WHRM: I like the illusion of objectification

I will speak only when spoken to

WHRM: Speech restrictions are fun as well!

I will kiss my Mistress’ shoes, boots or feet as a greeting to her when and wherever I first meet her

WHRM: I have a foot and shoe fetish and I want to slobber on her feet and shoes as often as possible

I will always be naked in the presence of my Mistress or I will always dress up for an audiences with my Mistress in approved clothes: French maid uniform, high heels, stockings & suspenders, panties, wigs, full make-up etc.

WHRM: Not only do I want to be naked a lot, but I also insist on being indulged in my VERY specific crossdressing fantasy.

I will fully learn my duties as a slave to my Mistress

WHRM: I get to slobber on Mistress’ pussy

I am to accept fitting punishments for any behavior unfitting of a lowly slave

WHRM: I don’t even have to try to be good because even when I am a petulant brat I still get to have lots of fun and attention from Mistress for free

I accept that my body is useful only for the pleasure of my Mistress and that she may use my cock, mouth and anus for her sexual pleasure

WHRM: In addition to using her stap-on in all of my holes for free, I want Mistress to suck my cock and fuck me too

I will accept any torture, punishment or humiliation my Mistress chooses for me

WHRM: I am not just a crossdressing foot fetishist, I am also a masochist! You have permission to choose any of the items from the list that I have provided you at the end of this message and do it to me as often as possible.

I will be completely honest about my fantasies and desires

WHRM: Even though I am conniving and passive aggressive, I also get to bitch whenever I don’t think I am getting enough attention

I will confess any disobedience or failings and ask to be punished for them

WHRM: Any time I feel that I am not getting enough attention already, I can always act like a brat to get even more attention from Mistress

Female Feet - Worship Them
WHRM: In case you forgot from before, I want to slobber on Mistress’ feet as often as possible but in the following very specific and ritualized way…

love to kneel before them
love to kiss and lick them
love to massage them
love to suck the toes
like to wash them
like to cream them
like to give pedicure

Women's Boots & High Heels
WHRM: I also get to slobber all over her shoes too….

love to kneel before them
love to kiss and lick them
like to suck the heels
like to clean them with my tongue

Long Women's Legs
WHRM:...and her legs….

love to kneel behind them
love to kiss and lick them
love to touch them softly

Female Butt
WHRM:.....as well as her ass...

love to kiss and lick them
love to touch them softly
love to sniff at them
love to give rimming
like to clean them with my tongue

Shaved Vaginas
WHRM: ….and especially her puss!!!

love to kiss and lick them
love to lick and suck the clitoris
love to eat their juice
love to sniff at them

Other Kinky Likes:

WHRM: The following is a grocery list of things that I require my Mistress must do to me as often as possible for free...
- Whipping
- Spanking
- Flogging
- Caning
- Candle Wax
- Nippletorture
- Cock & Ball Torture
- Cigarette Torture
- Human Ashtray & Spitton
Curious About:
- Chastity Belt
- Dog Play
- Anal Rape
- Ballbusting
- Feminization
- Toilet Play
- Needle Play
- Branding & Cutting


Let me clarify lest anyone here miss the point I am so subtly (ahem) trying to make. I am not saying that the submissive should not have interests nor inclinations but rather he and his potential Mistress would be far better served by him honestly and clearly stating what his true desires and wishes are. In my opinion, a more effective ad might read something like: Seeking a fully sexual relationship with a lifestyle service Top or Toppy switch with a sadistic streak, who shares my love of sexy shoes and boots as well as my affinity for foot worship and cross dressing. Some of the other activities that I enjoy include…….

The reason many of us find this post amusing is because it is very ironic. When he states,

”I accept that my feelings, opinions and wishes are meaningless and irrelevant’

He wants the reader to believe that the Mistress need not take into account his desires when in actuality he has very specific desires as well as an elaborate fantasy in mind. This is a groups for Pros to rant after all and that is exactly what I am doing here-nothing more and nothing less. I am sure that I am not the only one who receives this type of message all the time. As fantasy facilitators, we need to be able to read between the lines or interpret the coded verbiage in order to be able to successfully fulfill the submissives fantasy. While we realize that we are selling the illusion that the submissive is actually performing a “service” for us as well as the fantasy that their very specific requests are actually our desires, this irony can be tiresome and downright irritating at times…..and so ends my rant..