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I Want To Be Independent/Dependent

I'm an oddball ... of course I guess many of us are and that's why we're here. Normies are so boring anyway.

When I first started being Little, I was still very young. Not much removed from when I really WAS "little". I just knew I had an unquenchable curiosity to wear diapers, use baby bottles, and more. I entertained that curiosity whenever I could, which, since I was a pretty good kid and my parents rewarded me with as much privacy as I wanted, was pretty often. Wearing diapers at that time became almost an every night occurrence, and often daytime as well, even to the point of wearing them to school.

Being Little Girl did not come until later. I was actually in my 20s. From the first time I really immersed myself in it, though, I knew I had discovered something that was REALLY me. And, as much as I still like diapers, cribs, bottles, etc ... I knew I was 6 years old. I don't know why my mind insisted that, but it did and it still does. And since then I have even had people tell me, "Yep - you are definitely six." I'm not sure if that is a compliment or not, though...

Being 6, sometimes I feel very independent. "I want to do it myself! I can do it!" And I suppose I can on most of it. But, underlying that is another voice, that says I really don't want to do it myself! I want someone to help me. I want someone to help me do my hair. I want someone to pick out my clothes for the day. I want someone to tell me, "This is what you need to do to help." Even someone taking my hand so that I don't walk too fast or wander off is a REALLY big thing to me. I even want someone to tell me to stand in the corner, when I need to, even if I give a long explanation of why I did what I did (and I will always give those, because that's just who I am).

That's so different from my groan-up life. (Yes, I meant to spell it that way!) When I am in that role, I am a terribly controlling person. The worst thing anybody can do at that point is to try and tell me what to do. And just as bad is to tell me I CAN'T do something, because the sure result of that is that I'm going to prove at the risk of pretty much anything that I CAN do that!

by KitaSparkles