Basic etiquette and manners matter in daily life and in lifestyle as well! Treat other people as you’d like to be treated. Golden rule usually works really well, however, when in doubt, don’t! Some guidelines to remember when meeting new people at any lifestyle event, making new friends, chatting, or gathering in general:
Be honest, do not try to embellish to make yourself sound more anything you will come off badly and more than likely be found out and that will mar your reputation. Just be yourself. Everyone was a “newbie” at one time so no need to ever be embarrassed about questions – remember “the only stupid question is the one you don’t ask”.
Get consent. Touching (even casually) other people or their possessions (including collars, cuffs, toys and apparel) without permission is unacceptable. Yes we are a very “huggy” house but when you are knew we always ask before we hug you and make you feel welcome, it’s polite and good manners. You may notice some people who are close to each other committing what look like flagrant consent violations. Most often these people are friends who don’t feel offended by this. Do not assume that because they did something that you can.
Following someone around is likely to come off as creepy. Cornering or trying to separate someone from their current group they are socializing with, as well as following someone to their car, the restroom, or any other out of the way space to speak with them. If you wish to speak to someone privately, ask them and most will be accommodating and move with you to a more private spot to speak with you. By the same token, if someone has asked to speak with you and you aren’t sure you should be alone with them, please feel free to notify myself or one of the staff members that you are going out for a private conversation and ask one of us to check on you as a “safe call”.
No Dominant should demand or expect anything of another person, unless the other person has consented to engage in play or a dynamic. No submissive is under any obligation to serve or obey anyone whom they don’t choose to obey or serve. Everyone is equal. If you want to play or scene with someone, ask them but if they say no, respect their answer.
There are usually Dungeon Monitors “DM’s”, or staff around at events. We are there to enforce the rules, but are not psychic; if you are victimized, have a problem or issue with someone, let those in authority know. Even if it isn’t a ‘big deal’ or seemingly just bothersome, we would like to take proactive steps before a larger issue arises. Come to us in person, or if more comfortable shoot us an email (loftnc@gmail.com or layd_leigh@ymail.com) or FET message.
Be safe, have fun, make friends 🙂
