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The Social Club: FAQ

Have a question? See if it is below, just click and your answer awaits!  If you have a question not listed here, please send us an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and we'll give you an answer ASAP!

Where is The LoftNC? I can't find your address on the website.

The LoftNC is a private, members-only organization and, as such, entry to The LoftNC is limited to its members and their guests.  Address is provided upon RSVP to an event.  Please send RSVP to initial event to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..

But what if I don't know any members?

We offer weekly classes/demos/workshops that are open to anyone, allowing you the opportunity to meet potential members and be vetted to become a member.

Do I need an invitation to visit or join?

No you don't need an invitation to visit or join.  Just RSVP as indicated on the event and we will send you the information you need to join us.

How do I become a member?

Membership is $20 per person and renews annually from date of payment.  You can pay your dues at the door or online.

What is your minimum age? Questions about TNG under 21

Our minimum age for evening social events is 21, however anyone 18 and older are allowed at educational presentations and classes. (Be sure and bring your photo ID since we check everyone's age.)

In order to make this easier for everyone to access this discussion, I'm posting it as a sticky here. This issue has been addressed several times and it seems to still come up so this is my way of hopefully heading off some questions at the pass so to speak.

Some of the reasons why The Loft restricts 18-20 year olds from attending without additional supervision or mentoring:

1- Discretion: Many adults, no matter what age, cannot be out and proud about their BDSM activities. Younger people are not always known for their discretion. Even an accidental outing because someone wasn’t ‘thinking’ is an outing and could cost people their jobs and families.

2- Maturity: The human brain isn’t fully mature and developed until late 20’s and so is the reason so many young people get in trouble or cause trouble for others do to lack of proper thinking things through. Often issues are not intentional but that doesn't lessen the outcome or the severity of the problems an indiscretion may cause. Other establishments that have allowed under 21 have had issues with noise both inside and outside the facility when groups of younger adults are gathered - it happens and often older adults just don't want to be around the commotion that may occur. Complaints have also been made in the community when there are groups of under 21 at events and often older members will avoid those establishments that have an 18 and over policy for their own comfort level. Again this is not an "always" but it does happen where people get carried away. Yes this happens with older members as well but is less likely. This is much like was said about socializing with older/younger - college age kids typically don't want to hang out with middle school age kids and this is much the same - only difference is that everyone is legal age. But legal doesn't always equal maturity.

3- Liability: The Loft is a private social club, as such we can allow members to bring beer and wine for their own consumption but we do not monitor consumption. As we are not babysitters its not up to our volunteer staff to watch for illegal alcohol consumption by minors. 

4- Comfort: We want all of our members to be comfortable in coming and playing. Play parties/socials are known for skin showing/nudity. Body image acceptance is better in our community however many people are not comfortable playing in the presence of much younger members or attendees (it's a little like playing in front of your children). It is a chance one takes playing publicly though at any party/social.

5- Exceptions: We allow 18-20 year olds to attend classes and demonstrations on a case by case basis - *an RSVP to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. or to Lady_Leigh MUST be received for EACH class until membership is granted - No Exceptions. This allows us to get to know each for possible membership and is our vetting process. Play parties and socials would still be restricted from guest in this age group until the staff and members are comfortable enough in a thorough vetting the person then a membership offer may be extended. We offer this as we believe in the education and instruction for all. We also encourage younger "probationary" (for lack of a better term) members to have a mentor to be there for them for guidance, questions and a shoulder when needed.  If you have attended several demos/classes and we have gotten to know you, you may be permitted to purchase your membership and be admitted to all socials - however - you would still need to email Lady Leigh to request permission prior to inviting any under 21 age non-member guests.

At the LoftNC, we do host parties for various groups and themes, and if a group of TNG aged people came to Lady_Leigh with enough want/support for a TNG social/play party we most certainly would be glad to do so. These events would be alcohol-free but would welcome the TNG aged 18-35 (Our staff would be the exception since we would need to be there of course). The LoftNC Gastonia is available for ANY Groups to hold their private socials/parties/meetings or whatever they need. We can provide references if desired from other groups who have rented the Loft for private events. Yes there is a cover charge, usually $10 per person, to help cover utilities, cleaning and staff.

Most TNG groups are 18-35 and have their own socials and gatherings. While these events generally have "chaperones", it's unlikely that many older kinksters would be welcome or wanted at these events - much like having your parents at your prom. The same is true in the reverse. While mixing ages and groups is fine most of the time, especially for an educational venue, when socializing many feel more comfortable with their own age group.

I think those that know me and the LoftNC understand that our commitment is for education so that everyone has the opportunity to learn and play in a safe environment. We also strive to create a welcoming family atmosphere where everyone can be comfortable. Our Sunday events are like coming home for a hug, good friends/family, learning and play with the ability to have someone show you the ins and outs of new techniques if needed or asked.

If you come to the LoftNC when its a demo/class and then open dungeon you are welcome to stay the entire day. The open play on Sundays allows everyone to practice what they are learning in a safe environment with available help if needed.

The LoftNC has seen a great number of new members and attendees from the local colleges which has spurred interest in a number of topics - Yes this is all good and wonderful. Growing minds are a joy to watch and teach. While we are welcoming we are also cautious of the under 21 for the reasons noted and like to see them have mentorship and guidance.

We are home to a Submissive's Roundtable, Little's Parties, Foot Parties, themed socials throughout the year. We also offer BDSM 101 classes throughout the year. 

All members, attendees and guests are required to have proper ID in order to be admitted to the LoftNC for any occasion. We DO check ID for under 21 and do NOT allow underage drinking at any time.

I hope this answers many questions that everyone had. If not please feel free to message Lady_Leigh

Are alcohol or drugs allowed at the LoftNC?

Yes within reason and nope.
At this time we are allowing beer and wine (bring your own) at our socials.  If this becomes a problem in any way we will reverse this decision.
Nope - drugs are never allowed at the LoftNC (this includes the prohibition of marijuana). Other than the potential safety issues, these are some of the compromises we gladly make so that we are left alone.

How much do your events cost? For a single male? For a single female? For a couple?

Classes, demos, workshops, socials and play parties cost $20 per person for members and $30 per person for non-members no matter what the event, your gender, or relationship status. We do not discriminate.

We are a monogamous couple...I'm single man or woman...my partner can't come... is that okay?

Many of our members are monogamous, married, single, or unpartnered. Our clientele respect the individual and all of their various forms of relationships.

Do I have to participate or may I just watch?

As a consent-based organization, it is up to you to determine what level of participation is right for you. There is never any expectation for anyone to do anything. So, yes, just watching is fine.

Do I have to use my real name?

Pick a name and that is what our clientele will call you. Real or fabricated, nobody will know unless you tell them! For legal purposes our waiver does require real name and contact info but no one has access to this information

As a submissive, do I have to serve everyone there?

No, you choose your level of interaction and those you interact with. Nobody will pressure you otherwise.

Is it safe for single females to attend on their own?

Absolutely! All, accompanied or solo, are welcome and safe at The LoftNC.  We also offer to be a meeting place if you are chatting and meeting someone for the first time as well as safe calls.  Lady Leigh will gladly provide phone number for text or calls and help you learn how to make safe calls during your meetings. Your safety is a primary concern and one we don't take lightly.

Are there private rooms?

No, the play space is one big open room. We don’t have private rooms for many reasons, but the main reason is that we can’t ensure safe play if we can’t see it.

What if I see someone I know?

Guess what? They are there too, and both of you are covered by the confidentiality agreement you signed when you entered.

I am new to all of this... How can I learn more?

We offer weekly classes on various topics by regional educators. (Look on the right on this page to see dates and class schedule of topics.) But, some of the best learning takes place by watching and asking questions.  Lady Leigh also offers private sessions to help you learn more about you at your own pace.

I have no interest in public play, why bother?

Even though you may not have any interest in playing outside the home, you likely do have interest in meeting others, community and education.

Private Rental

Yes the LoftNC Gastonia location is available for private rental for personal noisy playtime, private parties or events, or group gatherings and socials.  Looking for a vacation away to a kinky B&B (bed & breakfast or bed & bondage)?  We can do that too.  Please email Lady Leigh for reservation and rates @ This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

Is there interaction between the Studio and the Social Club?

No, there is never any interaction between the Studio and the Social Club.  The Studio is always closed when Social Club events are scheduled (i.e. day plays, special events, socials, or Sunday class/demo/workshops and after parties). 

But I have more questions…

Most of the questions we receive have their answers on this website; but, if not, please feel free to contact us at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.