I’ve heard plenty of times that whatever one’s kink is, that it is ok, even if “your kink
isn’t my kink” that no one will laugh or make fun of for anything. But still, it is hard to
just be out there with some kinks, especially newer ones (to me) that since being in the
lifestyle that I’ve found. Or things I’ve always enjoyed but are on the darker side, but
because some of the people who also enjoy it are even a bit “creepy” (for other non-kink
reasons) or take it to the extremes that make the ones who enjoy the lighter side of that
kink seem less serious about it that it’s hard to be out about them.
There’s also the avoidance of some of those people who enjoy said certain kinks, that
if they happened upon finding that I am into whatever kink would contact me about that
kink and the easy path has been just avoiding putting it out there.
Then there’s the avoidance of having to explain whichever kink is the ‘odd’ one, or ones,
to my friends who know and love me. This is the part that’s getting easier, because I
have been accepted into my group of friends, they are my family, I’ve let a few know
about some of my less common, or weird or dark kinks. I use odd and weird because to
me they are still odd and weird even though I enjoy them.
There is also the fear that if I admit to certain kinks, that people also into said kink, will
want to kink together! This has been largely dispelled for me, since the longer I am
here, the more at ease I am with others and knowing that consent matters. That just
because I like XYZ and so does another person, they don’t expect me to play with them,
they may ask, but I am free to say no.
Even telling these kinks to my Mistress and my Sir has been hard. That leftover feeling
from vanillaland of judgment that was ingrained all life long is hard to shake even with
the two people I need not keep anything from. They love and care for me- no matter
what I may be into. The caveat there is my kink may not be their kink and so, if I want to
kink that kink, I need permission to seek an outlet elsewhere, but thankfully my Mistress
and Sir are very easy going and permissive within set bounds.
And this is what I’ve been coming to terms about. That it is true, that even if my kink
isn’t your kink, my kink is just fine, just fine to like whatever I like.